Based on the text of this letter, which focuses entirely on personal matters, it appears that Molly’s mother and brother, William, learned about James and Molly’s secret engagement. Since Molly’s letters did not survive, the exact circumstances are not known. The ramifications of their relationship coming to light will unfold throughout the upcoming letters that James wrote during the summer of 1863.
Hd. Qts. 8th Ks. Vols.
On Picket near Murfreesboro
June 10th 1863
On Picket near Murfreesboro
June 10th 1863
My Dear Molly
I wrote you this morning and since I have nothing to relate, except the receipt of yours of the 4th inst.
Truly you give me news and how can I thank or love you enough. Pretend egotism as I will, the first & last thought present with me — with a full knowledge of myself too, is an overpowering sense of my unworthyness of the great treasure of love, you have entrusted me with — and the responsibility thus assumed by my so far unlucky self, to do likewise, refusing as you have — others. I have no doubt better men with better means and prospects than poor me. The latest evidence you here just hint at.
What shall I say? Promises are not apropo — performances are what you require of me!
I shall write to William right away and enclose in an Envelope to you; as the mail is too slow to communicate with you first. I believe that for me is the most proper way, but I am bound to respect to the last your heretofore expressed wishes — so let it reach him or not as you wish, knowing how far you are committed, and how far our little romance has been suspected!
I think I ought to write to “Mother” also!
I am sorry I was not in St. Louis at the time!
I wait impatiently to hear from you again!
I wish I knew how to say what is necessary so as to tell the truth — and meet their views without injuring my or your cause; I respect both so much. I am nervously anxious to secure their cheerful consent. It was not necessary and I am sorry that you should assume the whole responsibility of concealment. I was first to blame — inasmuch as knowing your & their old country ideas. I should have spoken to Wm first; ere word had passed between us.
And if all goes well, would it not now be the best time to name a date after which if I can get “leave of absence” we could be united. I hinted in my last letter that I would not press matters until this “cruel war is over” supposing that to be your wish; if so say so to me, and have it understood with your friends or allow me to do so — that will be a year & a half.
My wishes would point to this fall or winter — as the longest time to which it would be adviseable for many reasons to postpone it.
When our time is out, I expect even if the rebellion is crushed, to be required a little longer. The south must be garrisoned by Soldiers or armed settlers for some years, so the time would pass, and valuable hours lost, matters unsettled and hope deferred.
But my dearest girl whatever happens depend on my warmest love, sympathy & good wishes for yourself and friends. They will do what is right. You will do what is right & I will try to do what is right, & I expect all will be as happy as a marriage bell in the end.
Mention the time now in consultation with your friends and with a clearly defined future before us, we will work together for good — in this world and with your sweet prayers in the world to come.
I am Molly darling
Yours Sincerely
Love
Yours Sincerely
Love
With a serious task before me for which I am unprepared. Goodnight Love.
Pleasant dreams
ever yours
J. E. Love
Pleasant dreams
ever yours
J. E. Love
I enclose in another envelope two letters. Close them up, & enclose to Alex & forward or retain them for a more auspicious occasion as you wish.
Love
Love
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